Just when I think I'm out...

They pull me back in.

I've sat down to many a task. Papers, proposals, speeches and then some. I'll divest hours of time into projects I want to succeed. My final project here is to graduate. After four years, three advisers, switching majors, a Division I sport, sketch comedy group, a semi-professional musical, Army ROTC and no social life, I felt that the last spring of my degree would be a breeze. (haha pun!)
I was hopeful, the first few weeks I was greeted in each of my classes by interesting teachers who wanted to have as much fun in the class with the students as the information they were to teach. I sat back and started to enjoy my last first day of school.
Now, three weeks after the last day to add a class, I receive a call from my major department. The conversation goes something like this...them:"You are three credits short on your graduation requirements, and will not be graduating on time. Please come to our office or fill out the necessary forms online to switch your graduation to the Fall." Me: "But I followed the instructions from my adviser and I've been taking 15 credit hours minimum each semester." Them: "Keep us informed of your plan, you can walk in the spring but you won't graduate without the requirement. It cannot be waived."
WHAT!!!!!!!!

You are a language requirement short. But that can't be I took French and German in high school.
We don't have your transcripts on file here. Maybe we have them on paper somewhere, but instead of looking for them, we'll just pull your file and tell you that you can't graduate yet. Pay us more money first and then maybe we'll consider it.
Oh and by the way the 20 hrs of Theater classes you took don't count for a Arts and Humanities GenEd credits. So you owe us another class.
And you didn't have enough credits taking right now to graduate with 120, so if you CLEP out of the language you will still have to take 3 hrs to have 120 total.
But I'm taking 18 right now? and the last day to add classes was last week.
Keep us updated with your plan to graduate.

Skrew you.

Hey Adviser, can I see the file you've had for four years. Do you think that you have my transcripts in there?
OOh look there they are, notified and sent from my high school. Oh look there's my two years of German with a minimum grade of a C. Weird. Lets walk that over to the Records office. dee-de-dee
Here you go Ms lady-in-an-office who is controlling my future vicariously through paperwork that someone is trying to default. Yes I know that the papers are in my hand now and so it would suggest that it could be changed. However, for four years it has been in my advisers folder in a locked cabinet and here is a note she wrote (please call to verify) that it is authentic. If you wont accept it than at least copy it and put in on record so that I don't have to inform my school that a University has lost information that a high school can keep track of.
Oh and by the way, thank you for calling me my last semester here and asking me if I had a plan when for FOUR years I've been paying you over $3,000 a semester to do one thing. Give me a bachelors degree.
But I'll forgive you. When I'm walking across that stage, with my blank folder. And I receive my diploma in the mail. I'll make a copy and send it to you, that way we'll both have it on record.